How Kindness can Hurt You

When people try to be kind to a disabled person, they too often take control of the situation & do everything for them. That might seem to be kind, but the disabled person may learn habits that make them feel disabled & only wait for others to help them.          

 The conscious habit a disabled person needs to develop is to rely on inner resources to deal with their problems and ask for help not as a victim, but as a person that just needs help.

The biggest disability we will ever have cripples our mind & makes us a victim. Fortunatel    y we can change that and consciously condition our mind so we can manefest without mind createdlimitations.

The only limitations we suffer from are those created by our own mind. Others my try to limit us, but unless your mind blocks you from manifesting, other people’s obstacles make you stronger.

 

The only thing that can limit us is created in our own mind. Other people can create resistance to your efforts, but going through that resistance, focused on your goal makes you stronger.

 

When a disabled person accepts the kindness as they let others take control, they sub-consciously create habits that destroy the focus that takes them beyond other people’s resistance. Instead of going beyond that resistance, it is easy to become passive & unable to manifest.

 

I think it is very important to accept another’s kindness, even if it is unconscious and treats you as a helpless victim. Accept the kindness, but don’t give up the control. Be focused on your goal and even help the person trying to assist you to get to your goal.

 

Often when people relate to a disabled person, they project themselves into that situation and their help carries anxious feelings, which makes their assistance awkward. At the sane time being disabled obviously could use the help, so your assisting them to help you may become a nice partnership that accomplishes your goal.

 

It takes humility to accept help and humility to help the helper; but when that exchange happens with kindness it benefits each person.

 

It is easy to focus on how other people look at you and how you are doing, but it is graceful to participate in a struggle with your focus on accepting the kindness that emerges from deep within.

 

If you are the disabled person dealing with the struggle to simply manifest or you are the person offering help; stop to receive a kindness not created by your mind. Go beyond yourself and express the kindness that springs from deep within. Then you find the humility that is a product of your deepest inner wisdom.

 

Marc Lerner has dealt with his disability for over 26 years and has learned the value of humility. Go to http://lifeskillsinc.com & http://lifeskillsapproach.com to see how Marc has learned to manifest kindness to those with a chronic illness or a disability.

(c) Marc Lerner, 2007